Here they are:
"I Am the Window"
"I Am the Window"
I am the window, my eyes are like glass.
I am in the abyss for as long as I can last.
The deep blues of hue surround my very being.
I am open to the world and no one can see me.
The dream is gone now, no lessons learned.
Memory is fluid and nothing that my knowledge has earned
can save me from the brink of failure
when I return to the world all of all in a million,
still just as visible as the ones before.
_______________________________________________________________________
I am in the abyss for as long as I can last.
The deep blues of hue surround my very being.
I am open to the world and no one can see me.
The dream is gone now, no lessons learned.
Memory is fluid and nothing that my knowledge has earned
can save me from the brink of failure
when I return to the world all of all in a million,
still just as visible as the ones before.
-Cherish Chance
"Paralyzed"
That inevitable silence. The shining silence that flashes across your mind before falling asleep, the dreaded empty sound. Even on the darkened street no crickets chirp or cars pass by and the dead air stands still. Dead is a good word, it being how you feel or maybe it is your current state. It’s that feeling when you find yourself jarred from sleep and no familiarities greet you. Yet again lying awake and wondering why as the human fear slowly seeps in and reaches its peak as you search for a heartbeat. You can’t recall breathing. For a moment you might think you forgot how. A small justification.
That inevitable silence. The shining silence that flashes across your mind before falling asleep, the dreaded empty sound. Even on the darkened street no crickets chirp or cars pass by and the dead air stands still. Dead is a good word, it being how you feel or maybe it is your current state. It’s that feeling when you find yourself jarred from sleep and no familiarities greet you. Yet again lying awake and wondering why as the human fear slowly seeps in and reaches its peak as you search for a heartbeat. You can’t recall breathing. For a moment you might think you forgot how. A small justification.
Though not quite routine, this event is still an occasional annoyance. Well, annoyance after the fact, but not in the moment. There is no indication of another person’s presence and the cats are unusually quiet. The creaks and groans of the homes structure are no real comfort. Sure it signals that the house exists, but your existence? Not so much. It is made of wood and metal, you are blood and bone. You could always go back to sleep and take your chances with the possible morning or afterlife that awaits you. Whatever comes first?
The only sensible thing to do is get up and quietly search for signs of life down the hall. The cat isn’t there, is the house empty? Am I a lone soul? Should you find the cat, gently prod it awake until it identifies you through a sleepy glare or a lick and bite to the hand should he be the aggressive type. Then you can breathe a sigh of relief.
Should it be lost in dreamland or in parts unknown, there are other options. One could always try hyper ventilating to the point you feel your heart pound, doesn't always work I’m afraid. By these point the need to feel a heartbeat is strong, overwhelming if you haven’t pulled yourself together. Honestly, it shouldn’t be this difficult.
Sometimes you can go get a drink. The dead don't need any nourishment after all and hope your little creature see you and relieves you of this burden. You will never encounter another person, it is for the best. Should you be alive still, there is no point in getting yourself in any trouble the next morning. In the event a person sees, you they will not understand the terrible quest you have taken. It is better to be alone then suffer miscommunication.
In the end the silence will linger, even if any noise should penetrate your lonely venture it could all be a sham to suffer by as you remain departed from that old plain. Taunting, yes. Depressing, yes. Unfortunate, of course.
Even should the sun rise, after you trick yourself to fall back to sleep, the thought remains. What if, what is. There is no reason to dwell on this matter, whether one is home or in a different universe of some kind, or a blindfold put over your eyes to trick your spirit into peace, just take what is offered. It’s better that way. Someday the sun will fail to rise, the people will come out and the cats will be gone. Where you are, is always a question, your current state is a query. But whatever happens is beyond control. It is life after all, it has happened a million times before.
Silence can be ones enemy and closest confidant. In the realm of sleep it is both, noise is always a trick. Should you find yourself invisibly bound to your sleep-place in a supposed conscious state, remember it is all a lie. You are not getting up, you are not moving, you are not seeing a person pinning you down, nor are you hearing voices call for you to awaken. It is not near dawn, it is the middle of the night. You will know when the ordeal is over for good, my own trick is to press my fingernails into my palms and see if I can feel anything. If I cannot feel it, I am asleep. If I can, I return to the realm of the awakened living. For the time being.
Silence can be ones enemy and closest confidant. In the realm of sleep it is both, noise is always a trick. Should you find yourself invisibly bound to your sleep-place in a supposed conscious state, remember it is all a lie. You are not getting up, you are not moving, you are not seeing a person pinning you down, nor are you hearing voices call for you to awaken. It is not near dawn, it is the middle of the night. You will know when the ordeal is over for good, my own trick is to press my fingernails into my palms and see if I can feel anything. If I cannot feel it, I am asleep. If I can, I return to the realm of the awakened living. For the time being.
-Amanda Michael
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